


Cabin Fever

by SnarkySoleil



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulge Sucking (Homestuck), Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Mild Injury, Multi, Nook Fingering (Homestuck), Quadrant Smearing, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism, gee psiioniic how come your lusus lets you have two bulges, listen im an oldstuck dancestor names seem weird, original names for ancestors, pre revolution sexy times, signless is fine he just got a little stabbing, they're just having a good time and none of them are doomed to tragedy!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26263969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnarkySoleil/pseuds/SnarkySoleil
Summary: Orphaner Dualscar might be sympathetic enough to the Signless' cause to allow them passage on his ship, but he's not used to being trapped in the same cabin with the Signless and the Psiioniic all up in his space as they plan. Sparks start flying, a slur and a bottle or two alongside them, and before long this cabin fever shifts into something a bit spicier.
Relationships: Orphaner Dualscar/The Psiioniic | The Helmsman/The Signless | The Sufferer
Kudos: 9
Collections: Sloppy Seconds 2020





	Cabin Fever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [auxanges](https://archiveofourown.org/users/auxanges/gifts).



> sometimes when the world denies you the ancestor content you crave, ya gotta be self-indulgent and write the damn thing yourself.

Cabin fever usually takes a few weeks to a perigee to set in, but right now the three trolls clustered around the map in the captain’s quarters were feeling it after only a night on the sea. Odiion's horns sparked with pent up psionic energy as he tapped his foot, looking down his sharp nose at Orfeus outlining every way the plan for the rally could go wrong as he slid his claw along the contours of the map. Aselus stayed seated, massaging his temples.

"If your whole thing hinges on not having enough muscle to protect Sign, then why not actually come to the demonstration, Orphaner?" Odiion said, spitting the title like a curse.

Orfeus' fins flared forward before he caught himself, glancing to Aselus as his lip twisted. “I cannot. You know this. The Imperial Lusus has a strict feeding schedule, and the Empress demands--”

“The  _ Empress. _ ” Odiion slammed his hand down onto the map, psionics burning a hole into the center before Orfeus smacked his arm away. “You’re not the only Orphaner, not even on this side of the hemisphere. You going to sell us out? Is that what happened last time?”

“Psii,” Aselus said, voice low as he made to get up from where he sat. 

Odiion held out a hand. “No. No, Aselus, I want to hear what good excuse he’s got. You almost got merced your last sermon, so sit down or I’m siccing your mother on you the moment we meet up.”

Aselus grumbled, settling back down with a wince as Orfeus cleared his throat. “I can only help you as long as the Empress is unaware of my allegiances,” the seadweller said, ignoring Odiion’s derisive snort as he continued. “What happened at the last sermon was inevitable with the traction your group has been getting, and you’re lucky it didn’t go any worse than it did. And I can also see that this rally is doomed to fail.”

“Enlighten me.”

“You shouldn’t be heading into such a big city, especially not a port town during a festival,” Orfeus said. “Your only way out with any speed is this ship,  _ my  _ ship may I add, and every coolblood and their quad is going to be watching everything coming in and out.” He tapped the map again. “This here? This tunnel through the mountain’s going to be packed with the festival vendors. You get enough sympathizers here you may have an easier go of it, but the moment a sermon starts it’s getting closed off and I’ll bet my good eye on it.” He traced his finger along the east edge of the map. “All this? Desert.”

“We’ve got a jade,” Odiion said, drawling. “And we’ve been through deserts before. _And_ I’ve blasted holes in bigger mountains.”  
“ _And_ nearly melted your pan in the process, my friend,” Aselus said, leaning forward. “There’s a reason we sent my mother and Aremis on ahead on _First_. Maps can only tell you so much, Orfeus. We have to do this now, and we have to do it here. Especially during the holiday-- We’ll have every eye on us. The time for small sermons is over. We have the chance to really make a change here, and make them see.”

“The lower tier’s already on our side in this region anyway,” Odiion said. “We have the numbers.”

“Those numbers are based on the last port, which is a fuckin’ anomaly and miles away to boot.” Orfeus’ lips twitched back into a snarl. “Maybe if you pulled your head out of your waste chute, pissblood, you’d realize I’m just trying to keep your heads on your fuckin’ shoulders.”

Aselus lifted a hand, a lecture already building, but Odiion beat him to it. His more concise lecture consisted of a wordless snarl as he shoved Orfeus back against the wall, psionics first and followed by his fingers curling into the seadweller’s collar. Aselus stood as Orfeus let out a wicked snarl, grabbing Odiion by the shoulder and jerking him away. “Stop that!” His grip tightened as Odiion attempted to shrug him off, putting himself between the two incensed trolls. “Fighting will not accomplish either of your goals.”

Odiion bared his teeth. “He called me--”

“I’m aware. I’m injured, not deaf.” Aselus moved his hand to Odiion’s cheek, who bristled a few moments longer before sagging and turning his face to press a sullen kiss to Aselus’ wrist. Orfeus looked away, lip twitching. “I’m not done with you either, Orfeus. You should know better by now than to use such language.”

“Is it a slur if I meant it as a knock against his intelligence, rather than blood?” Orfeus said, glancing back with his good eye to look back at Aselus.

Odiion opened his mouth, and Aselus squished his lips between his index finger and thumb to prevent him from saying anything. “Yes. Yes! I would much prefer you forgo insulting each other like wigglers, but if you must then at least make an attempt to be creative rather than falling back on the language of the hemoist structures our society is based on. Especially if it implies his intelligence is limited, and limited by blood!”

Orfeus remained silent, looking away from Aselus to consider Odiion, then spoke up again. “Dipshit.”

Odiion swatted at Aselus’ hand to allow himself to speak again. “Bulgepan,” he said.

Aselus pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a ragged breath. “Okay. Okay, right. Now that’s out of the way, let us get back to business.” He sat back down, folding his hands. “Your concerns are valid, but Odiion is right here. While a few indigos here and there have sympathized to the cause, you are just about the highest possible blood color on the spectrum. Your presence would be invaluable, and may even help to minimize the chances of a riot should a large gathering of lowbloods speaking heresy be objected to.”

“Your math is flawed. You can’t simplify a hundred percent chance down to a fraction.”

“Your math is shit,” Odiion said. “You can take fractions out of that, easy. That’s not how probability or statistics even works.”

“Says the troll who can’t even read,” Orfeus said, sneering.

Aselus had to duck as a bottle flung itself off the wall in a shower of blue and red spark, crashing against Orfeus’ jaw in a shower of glass and soporific. “Numbers make sense you elitist fishy bastard!” Odiion punctured his words with a punch, which Orfeus caught easily before using the momentum to fling the psion onto the floor.

“That was aged for twenty sweeps--” Orfeus tried to stomp down on Odiion on the floor, only to have his leg caught with psionics resulting in him crashing in a comical heap on the floor.

Aselus pressed his hands together in a prayer motion, closing his eyes and leaning his head against them. He took a slow breath and began counting backwards from ten under his breath as the two other trolls endeavored to beat the shit out of each other. Maybe it would be fine. Maybe just a simple beatdown would get it both out of their systems and they could go back to actually planning for the sermon instead of shooting it down with worst case scenarios or worse, blind optimism. He started the count over again as he heard something else shatter and the tearing of fabric, along with Orfeus’ snarled “This shirt costs more than your measly sale price on the meat markets--”

The scuffling ceased its intensity then, and Aselus let out a ragged exhale as he stood up with his hand still bracing his side. “Right. Clearly we need a bit more time to cool down, so if you are quite done. You. Ah.” Aselus stopped with his hand on the corner of the map table, not leading to move far around it to spot why exactly the two trolls had gone silent. Especially not when Orfeus’ growl petered out into a low moan.

Odiion had his hand shoved into Orfeus’ shirt, a few buttons still spinning to a stop on the floor from where he’d torn the garment. Orfeus didn’t seem too upset either with how he returned the goldblood’s hungry kiss with just as much fire, scarred fins fanning both their faces. Odiion lifted his head to breathe for a second at most before diving in again, forked tongue sliding along the edges of the seadweller’s flaring gills.

Aselus cleared his throat as Orfeus lifted a knee to press up against Odiion’s crotch, and the pair of them jumped as if they’d forgotten Aselus was still in the room. “So. Shall I come back in an hour?” Aselus said.

“Yes,” Orfeus said, but Odiion clapped a hand over his mouth.

“No, Sign, hang tight.” Odiion pulled his hand back, avoiding the way Orfeus’ jagged teeth snapped on empty air like a cholerbear trap in its wake. “I think we could all do with blowing off some steam.”

“He’s got a quadrant, and he’s not pitch for either of us,” Orfeus said, protesting as he sat up. 

“And I’ve had both his and Aremis’ bulges up in me. At the same time!” Odiion said, shooting Orfeus a wicked grin. “Rosaia’s not quadranted with me either, but she still--”

“Nope. Nope, you’re not telling me about how you fucked my mother, Psii.” Aselus pulled a face, and Odiion let out a nasally snicker as he helped him back into his seat. “If you are seeking a method by which to turn me on and drag me into your debauchery, that is one of the least successful tactics you could possibly choose.”

“Aselus, we will take it somewhere else. I apologize that I let this scum get the better of me.” Orfeus rose to his feet, using the map table to drag himself up, only for Odiion to slam him up against it.

“No. After all that you’ve said to me in the last hour alone?” Odiion grabbed Orfeus by the horn, forcing his head back. “Let’s put on a show for him.”

“I will not--” Orfeus started to say, but melted and tipped his head to the side as Odiion tongued his gills again. He glanced to the side, but when Aselus only snorted and leaned back in his seat he relaxed further. He didn’t resist as Odiion scrabbled at his clothes, shrugging out his jacket which fell onto the floor. His pants followed suit, after some irritated snarling at each other about who would take off the boots.

Odiion shoved Orfeus backwards further until the seadweller took the hint, sitting back on the map table and putting a hand behind him to brace himself. The psion made to kneel down, but stopped as Aselus cleared his throat. “It doesn’t really seem fair for you to still be clothed, Odiion,” he said. “If you insist on giving me a show, that is. I wish to see you too.”

“As if that concave ass is anything but a turnoff,” Orfeus said, grumbling, and growled as Odiion thwacked him with his rapidly shed shirt.

“You’re one to talk. Your thighs are misshapen as all fuck,” Odiion said, but still knelt between them after getting naked.

“And I swim faster than you chase a bulge on dry ground.” Orfeus bared his teeth, but a moan cut off any further remarks as Odiion leaned forward and began lapping at his nook. He glanced to Aselus, claws digging into the surface of the table’s wood with little resistance.

Odiion slurped, and Aselus raised an eyebrow. “Are you that wet already, or is Psii attempting to make a mockery of you?” 

Orfeus’ fins pinned back against his cheeks as he flushed a dull violet. “I. Fnnng.” He gritted his teeth, smacking at the top of Odiion’s head as he let out a muffled snicker between the seadweller’s legs. “It is not my fault. He has been at my throat for this whole journey.”

“It’s only been a day. Not even a full one, may I add,” Aselus said. He kept his voice remarkably steady considering his current view, determined not to let Odiion win one over the both of them so easily. 

Orfeus growled, a sound echoed by Odiion as Aselus caught a flash of violet between the seadweller’s legs. Odiion made quick work of the new arrival, switching from nook to bulge and allowing Orfeus to unsheath into his warm mouth. Orfeus let out another unintelligible noise, grabbing onto the back of Odiion’s head and keeping him in place. Despite the angle Aselus still caught the way Odiion’s cheeks hollowed as he sucked, head going forwards and back while maintaining the seal with his lips to encourage more and more of Orfeus’ bulge into his mouth.

Aselus shifted, but neither troll seemed inclined to look at him. He raised his shirt, careful around the bandages and undoing his pants. He slid them down with only a bit of discomfort from his wound, lowering his hand to rub at his sheath in a lazy circle as Orfeus let out a throaty trill of pleasure. Odiion had much the same idea, hand dropping between his legs and staring to play with himself as he sucked Orfeus off.

Orfeus tipped his head back, squirming on the table as Odiion moaned and then gagged a bit on his bulge. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew, psion,” Orfeus said, and then let out a whimper. “Gods. That ain’t a challenge. Watch those fuckin’  _ teeth. _ ” Odiion couldn’t laugh much considering his current status, but let out a harsh exhale through his nose that accomplished the same effect.

After a few minutes of watching Orfeus buck his hips and trill Aselus tired of his hand, and he panted a bit before managing to speak. “Stop that and come over here. Both of you.”

Odiion sat back on his heels, connected briefly to the bulge sliding from his lips by a thin string of violet slurry. He licked his teeth, putting a hand on Orfeus knee to help himself up as he stood. Orfeus practically fell off the table in his haste to get to Aselus, who caught him with a hand between his cool legs.

Orfeus shivered as Aselus slid a finger up into his nook, followed by a second. Odiion leaned in, catching his face with a hand and kissing him. Orfeus attempted to pull back but Odiion persisted, and the seadweller relented with a sigh as Aselus curled his fingers. He answered the kiss, slow at first as if hesitant about the taste of his own slurry, but his lips soon parted to deepen the kiss with little resistance and only the occasional growl as he bit at Odiion.

Odiion pulled away then, lips smeared with a mix of leftover violet slurry and a bit of his own blood. “You good, ‘Sel? Side hurting too much?”

“Bold of you to ask now this far in,” Aselus said. He added a third finger, and Orfeus just about went crosseyed as he whimpered. “Just do not tell my mother, and we should be fine. Take pity on the poor fish, now. I think he’s ready.”

Orfeus regained some sentience as Aselus pulled his hand away, baring his teeth. “I am neither poor nor a simple fish.”

“I know, that was in poor taste.” Aselus grimaced, but still spread his legs to accommodate Orfeus between them as Odiion bent him double. “I’ll make it up to you. Or I believe Odiion will, rather.”

Orfeus groaned rather than replying as Odiion shuffled behind him, pressing his face into Aselus’ thigh. He screwed his eyes shut, and Aselus ran his fingers through his salt-streaked hair as Odiion guided both his bulges to the seadweller’s nook. “Relax. If you wish for him to take one out, I’ll push him away myself.”

“No.” Orfeus growled into Aselus leg, shoving his hips stubbornly back against Odiion. “I’ll cull you myself if you ahhhh-- Try.”

“Keep the culling jokes to a minimum, Dualscar, if you want to keep your fucking head,” Odiion said. He thrust his hips in a sharp cant, and Orfeus moaned again with even more wanton need.

“It’s alright, Psii. I’m very cullable. I am the poster grub of preemptive culling and it is a miracle that my mother resisted the temptation,” Aselus said. He put a hand on Orfeus’ cheek, nudging him towards the fat bulge curling around itself. Orfeus mouthed at the base before parting his lips, allowing the bulge into his mouth and moaning as Odiion rolled his hips. The motion shoved Orfeus forward a bit, and Aselus let out a soft noise as it accentuated what Orfeus was doing to his bulge.

Eventually Orfeus’ brows stopped furrowing so much, pained winces fading into enthusiastic bumping up against Odiion’s hips. He didn’t stop once to catch a breath as Aselus’ bulge thrust in his mouth and reached for his throat, his gills fluttering in the air for oxygen. As the seadweller stopped whining so much Odiion’s movements became more insistent, nails digging into Orfeus’ hips as his hidden bulges thrust up into Orfeus’ nook. Aselus kept running his hands through Orfeus’ hair as the seadweller bobbed his head, occasionally brushing his fingers up against the hornbeds. Orfeus purred every time he did, the vibration rumbling through Aselus’ bulge and making his toes curl.

Aselus couldn’t stay quiet long, and he caught Odiion’s crooked grin as he leaned his head back against his chair and started moaning, the pitch fluctuating upwards every time Odiion thrust and forced Orfeus forward. Orfeus stopped moving himself somewhere along the way, riding out Odiion’s motions to pleasure Aselus and to keep everything in a steady rhythm. Aselus could hardly choke out his next few words, so focused on Orfeus sucking him dry. “Psii.  _ Odiion.  _ I want you.”

Odiion didn’t move at first, still busy fucking Orfeus, but finally reached out. He grabbed Orfeus by the horn, bending his neck back, and Orfeus coughed as he released Aselus’ bulge with an audible pop. He growled as Odiion stepped back away from him, shivering with a hand on Aselus leg. “Scoot up, Orphaner. I’ll get both of you at once.” Aselus rolled his eyes as Odiion said this, but helped Orfeus up into the chair until their chests were flush up against each other. Orfeus kept his body angled to avoid putting weight on Aselus’ still-healing wound, and Aselus kissed his face as Odiion dealt with bulge logistics. Orfeus gasped first, the noise transitioning into a throaty purr shortly before Aselus felt a slick bulge at his nook as well. He shifted as best he could with Orfeus weighing down on him, and he heard Odiion growl in satisfaction as he filled the both of them simultaneously.

The bulge inside Aselus twisted once before thrusting up, starting a frantic pace that Aselus had little time to adjust to. He cried out, only for Orfeus to muffle the sound with his mouth. Aselus returned the kiss, tongue sliding out to meet the seadweller’s and catching the salty tang of his own slurry there. Orfeus ground down in his lap, his neglected bulge smearing up against their stomachs. Aselus pulled away, panting. “Can you fit it in from here?”

“Maybe.” Orfeus shifted, and to his credit Odiion even helped with a lowered hand detangling Orfeus’ bulge from around the bases of his own. Aselus yelled again as Orfeus started thrusting his icy bulge into him, tears beading at the corners of his eyes at the stretch. He didn’t even mind that Orfeus could only stretch his bulge far enough to reach half of it into him, focused only on rocking his hips.

Orfeus came first, so caught in the throes of his own pleasure he forgot his own decorum and neglected to ask for a pail. He grunted once and then buried his face in Aselus’ neck, breathing in the pailing pheromones as his bulge stiffened and then spasmed inside Aselus’ nook. Odion’s bulge curled around it, keeping it in place as he filled Aselus with slurry that chilled him to the core. Odiion followed soon after, bulges sliding free and coating their lower halves as he sank his teeth into Orfeus’ shoulder. Orfeus snarled despite his exhaustion, glaring back behind him. “I’m not a pail, you degenerate, back off.”  
“You look good like that, all smeared with color,” Aselus said. He grimaced, squirming as Odiion and Orfeus both got up off of him. “I’m not there yet. Please--”

He didn’t have to ask twice before Odiion advanced on him, turning his back and straddling him backwards on the chair. Aselus sighed in relief as his bulge squirmed upwards into Odiion’s waiting nook, and despite his already coming once the goldblood still managed to bounce on his bulge with unholy energy. Orfeus leaned back against the table and watched, eyes half-lidded as he let his bulge tangle lazily between his fingers.

Finally Aselus felt his climax building, and despite his tapping on Odiion’s hip the other remained firmly in place. Odiion threw his head back and let out a triumphant yell as Aselus filled him, sparks flying around his head in a halo that lifted his hair around his head. He slumped forward as Aselus finished, their gasping filling the air along with the soft noises of waves crashing up against the ship and rocking them.

Orfeus grabbed Odiion by the wrist as they both stilled, tugging him up off of Aselus and stealing an aggressive kiss. “This was inappropriate,” he said. “Filthy quadrant smashers.”

“You liked it,” Odiion said, smacking at his hip. He shivered, a bit of red slurry trickling down his thigh. “You liked it too, didn’t you Aselus?”

“I could be convinced to join you too again, if the opportunity arose,” Aselus said, voice a pathetic rasp as he fought for breath. He grimaced, looking down at the splotch of purple now staining his bandage. “This will be hard to explain to Mother when my bandages require changing.”

Orfeus buried his face in a hand as Odiion let out a crow of laughter. “We did just-- She is going to kill me. Your matesprit and your lusus are going to tear my spine out through my teeth.”

“And use it as a toothpick.” Odiion bent down, grabbing his clothes up off the floor. He leaned in to kiss Aselus’ cheek as he passed him. “I didn’t forget about the rally planning, Sign, promise. Maybe tomorrow? You look wiped.”

“Tomorrow, yes,” Aselus said. He groaned, accepting the hand Orfeus offered him as he got up off his chair once again. “I believe I need to sleep for a sweep. Your stamina terrifies me every day.”

“It’s a terrifying daymare that he’s still going,” Orfeus said, collecting his own clothes as Odiion strutted out of the room. “He’s. He’s not even putting on pants,” he added, a little helplessly. “We are not alone on this ship.”

“Knowing him, your crewmen are already well acquainted with his bulges,” Aselus said. He did up his pants, lowering his shirt back over them. “It will not be a new sight. You really aren’t coming to the sermon?”

Orfeus hesitated, looking out the window to the rolling waves beyond. “It is… unlikely. The Imperial Lusus hungers.” He held up a finger as Aselus nodded and opened his mouth to speak. “But if it will permit you a modicum of safety, I will consider it. I will just have to play my cards right.”

Aselus smiled, reaching up to pat at the seadweller’s cheek. His fins waved, a bit unsure, but he did not protest the gesture. “Then I look forward to your thoughts. We’ll meet up back here tomorrow.”

He turned, following after Odiion and heading towards his own quarters. His mother made no comment about the additional colors staining his bandages when they met again, but Orfeus had to narrowly dodge her throwing a heavy ladle at his head when she spotted him. Odiion laughed, only for Aremis to grab him by the ear and smash his face into the ground next to the campfire. His protests of cabin fever and pent-up hormones fell on deaf ears, wafting away with campfire smoke and fading off into the night sky.


End file.
